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Recent blog posts

Aliens

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If you are bored, I carry good news! You have not yet discovered it.

Do you find yourself compromising good to find excitement at your expense? Secretly you must know you are not from here?
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What I have always dreamt of...

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I have always wanted to change the world!

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A collection of stories

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THE CALLING

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Soo yeah here I am with number 10 and it’s been quite a while since my last blog, but that is fine because God had to work first in me about a few things before the next blog can be put up and I must say it was quite a ride up to this point. So with this new blog I pray that Papa will come and show His power, grace, LOVE and faithfulness to you whiles’t reading this blog. So keep calm and read on ( I know, not the best one liners, but it’s fine ).

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A painfully beautuful interdependance.

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This kind of life is challenging me to the point of action. I am in awe of how I am so often humbled. Just when I think I know what life is about, I am reminded of my inability to live as I so believe I should, as well as my total ignorance. To live in a interdependant community with the core value of loving one another to life is very hard. We are called to pick up our cross daily, and we expect it to be comfortable. 
 
This is where the magic of the upside-down Kingdom is giving me hope of some undiscovered freedom (for me at least), where when you have given everything and loved in every situation ( a very painful duty) you find the true life. 
Love suffers long and is kind... and all those beautiful attributes I have always looked upon as cute. The type of stuff that are mostly hung up on the walls of Vrystaters or pasted on bumpers of fancy cars.
 
 
"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." - C.S.Lewis
 
Shane Clairborne says in his book THE IRRESISTIBLE REVOLUTION, after leaving his comfortable living and choosing to live amongst lepers in Calcutta for a couple of weeks.
"I learned from lepers that leprosy is a disease of numbness. The contagion numbs the skin and the nerves can no longer feel as the body wastes away. In fact, the way it was detected was by rubbing a feather across the skin, and if the person could not feel it, they were diagnosed with the illness. To treat it, we could dig out or dissect the scarred tissue until the person could feel again. As I left Calcutta, it occurred to me that I was returning back to a land of lepers, a land of people who had forgotten how to feel, to laugh, to cry, an land haunted by numbness. Could we learn to feel again?"
 
What gives me hope is that I cannot love. I too am screaming for acceptance, recognition and a deep understanding love, that knows my heart and enjoys it. And that is exactly what Jesus is offering to me. To step into His love, daily. To renounce every lie I have ever believed of myself and to believe His truth. That I am made in His image to Glorify Him.
 
 It is when I step into His covering that I discover inner peace. The screaming stops and I can ease into the powerfully tender love, that loves me even in my darkest place. That is when I could start experiencing the sweet need to give this normal-life-threatening love to those I see screaming. I can start loving, because He has first loved me.
 
Mary could effortlessly flow into Martha, because her strength comes from a bottomless source. She is fulfilled to the point of overflow. This has become such a stale saying without true understanding. 
 
Being an intern for an extremely serving community, has quickly forced me to start understanding this. The guilt of using God faded away, because He called me to tap into His endless supply. 
 
In this book, THE IRRESISTIBLE REVOLUTION, he also speaks of our stealing away from the opportunities for miracles. Jesus fed the masses with a handful of food, because there was no food. He had the opportunity to turn water into wine, because there was no more wine. We are so secured by money that we never let Him feed us and thanking Him for our paid-for-food has become somewhat stale.
 
To my great relief, I am starting to realize to fall full force into being loved by The Lover, seeing the need in my neighbor and loving does not necessarily have to be massive. It could be small deeds with massive love. I just have to make peace with It that I am not going to be a big deal or going to do big things. Challenged with the upside-down- last-will-be-first-thing.
 
 
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A glimpse of the collatoral beauty.

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I have changed. Changing even still. I remember sitting inches from the television realizing with relief that I missed yet another day. Afraid that the day would indeed hold as little as I'd expected. I could not stand being proved right. I would not survive the knowing that life did indeed have as little to offer as I've imagined. So I'd rather not. Not go for that walk, not smell those roses, not dance in the rain, not drive all the way to the top and look at the lights. I'd rather live with the fantasy that those things are the goal. They are what life is about. And so I kept them, subconsciously knowing that they too are as empty as my young vessel.

 
I knew that they were just the only image I had of freedom. Freedom into joy and contentment. 
 
But when I met You. Oh my Sweet, You have made life sweet. You filled the vessel and so another dimension, the one I was seeking, opened up before me. I still have not danced in the rain, but even the wind now brings pleasure . I will still have that dance with You, until then I will enjoy everything about You. Luckily You are everywhere. Thank You for life, my Life. It will never stop,  for There is nothing else
 
There is nothing else!
Now that I have received not even a half portion of Life, I am so filled with a vibrant excitement! The boring chase from one high to the next has been weighed and found wanting. Now I climb the high from one extraordinarily humbling awakening to the next! I want to cry, laugh and scream all at once. The King has chosen me to be His bride. By design, I please Him. Even in the scruffy parts,  I am adored by Love. I mean the intricate levels of love that has not yet been discovered by this devouring world. My Love, My Sweet, My King. Even if by force, I could not turn my face from You. There is nothing else! The rest is so painfully dull.
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Learning to love differences. 

 
I always took a lot of pride in believing I was a supporter of diversity. I have only now started realizing how deep the differences lay and how often we are offended, reason being this ignorance.
 
We did a temperament test a while a go, that changed my perception sooo much! 
 On that note,
 
Oh how I've learnt to love oblivion. One of the Love's sweetest way of loving us is to humble us. "There is in fact more to life than you know" 
 
There is more to hope for. Once again I am found wanting. A sweet need to discover another side of His reality, one learns to love so easily. 
 
Back to the point,
 
When I realized that my way of manipulating people is in fact not at all their way of doing so. And so when I judge them, actually I am pointing out something that I would do. Eish that hurt! Turns out I judge a lot and most of all myself.
 
And so, yes people should actually treat you how they'd like to be treated which is not how you would like to be treated. So for that to work out we need to be living out of fulfillment in Christ. It is just making more and more sense to me how, yes we can do all things through Him. But we can do nothing of worth ( in eternal perspective, nothing) without Him.
 
I cannot love my neighbor, because even if they were whole and treating me with love, their idea of it is different and offense is bound to happen. 
 
James 3:18 
You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results, only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with honor and dignity. 
 
Even the great James struggled to like people. Liking people is actually quite hard, because they push our buttons. They do not love us the way we were created to be loved. I mean obviously I am the main character and I need to be adored. 
 
The call of dying to myself is deepening every time I feel like I got it now. And so the humbling happens, and it sucks but also its so great ( in a months time or so) to be exposed to more magic. More Jesus magic. His ways are so very different to anything we know and so I have somehow in some kind of masochistic ( for all the critical lollies out there.. you'll probably get it) way started enjoying noticing dead flesh (human/loveless moments), because it means I have now a space where Jesus will bring life.
 
He makes all things beautiful and new. So He directs me to see death, I cluelessly point at it and look at Him knowing His being part of this makes it pop up into life. Nothing He touches can stay dead. It is just impossible. 
I have wandered off a bit. 
 
To wrap it up (I think), people don't mean to be bad and when you see something that upsets you, it is probably something you would do to upset a person. Judging has really put me in my place. 
 
I think people might treat us they way they think they deserved to be treated, which are cool indicator to us how to love them.
 
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You can develop a healthy robust community that lives right with God only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other with honor and dignity. -James 3:18

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Oh how I've learnt to love oblivion. One of The Love's sweetest way of loving us is to humble us. "There is in fact more to life than you know" 

 
There is more to hope for. Once again I am found wanting. A sweet need to discover another side of His reality, one learns to love so easily. 
 
This is how I understand it so don't quote me. We are all made in God's image, but then sin gave us a heart of stone. Whenever conviction takes place, a new manner of thinking is introduced to you. The Kingdom manner of thinking. And so your heart becomes more flesh. Whenever a humbling takes place, stone is being chipped away, until one day when we stand face to face with LIFE, and our hearts start beating.
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Fireworks in the desert

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I know people speak about "a dessert season" in their spiritual life, I did not think I would ever experience it and now that I am in that season I even thought it would be different, bad in a way.
Let me put it like this.
In a dessert everything looks the same. Every sand hill looks like the one you just passed. The sun and heat is so unbearing that you don't feel anything after a while. After a few hours you just stumble around and fall short not knowing what you are doing.
With me I have a few stars to guide the way. And it feels like I am even appropriately dressed for this. You know real dessert cloths, truth, righteousness,love,
Fear has no hold on me because I know I was called to this dessert and that He who has called me will never take a step backwards when I am moving in His direction.
My dessert has an oasis. The key to the door is red, shaped in the form of prayer. The best way to the door is a 100 steps up and then to your left. It's not like the living water kind of vibes though. More just like drops of heaven falling on you to keep you going.
It's not a bad season its just like I misplaced my overflowing cup and lost my song. I am learning here guys! I will appreciate his tangible present more. I am learning how to run with perseverance even though my lips are dried out and I have blisters on my feet after the last thousand kilometers I just roamed.
I get to meet people along the way some of them have their overflowing cups with them and others don't even have a cup yet. I love both types of fellow dessert dwellers.
I sometimes get these thoughts on "where is He? Where is my living water and my daily bread? Why can I not find Him" Just to find my helmet of righteousness, protecting my thoughts, is falling off because of the sweat rolling down my brow. It's like a sickness I am sweating out. Getting rid of all baggage and extra weight .
But through all of this I get to witness fireworks in people who recieve cups for the first time. In a dessert. Far from what I know.
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Sometimes the birds need to leave the nest, well not just sometimes. It is a given. Birds are bound to fly, soar and poop on people to make their day interesting. Jeffrey's is like a nest for me, not in a passive "safe" way, it was just the place where I could grow and now it's time for them to kick me out of the nest.
 
Flying, doing what I was called for and learning how to use what is given to me, like my wings. Leaving a birth place, the place where missions was born in me, is difficult sometimes but I know staying will turn into a comfort zone. Ain't nobody got time for that. Experts say that birds have excellent memory. I will never forget you guys. I was challenged and molded in this time. But I was not only surrounded with the arms of my Father but also with great amazing birds... eagles, that have flown all over the world and around my heart.
 
You can take the bird out of the nest but you can never take the nest out of the bird. I do not think that I could ever make such a big impact on them like they did on me. Jeffreys Bay's Nest - topia was a journey that I am so thankful for. Was it hard? Yes. Did I want to go home? More then once. Did I make friends? No I made family.
 
Abba really romanced me, and whispered His truth and love into my heart. He told me who I am, what I was made for and that I am adopted into His care. The ransom was paid for me. He equipped me and once again took me to a place where I needed to die to self, again and again and then serve.
 
Sometimes it felt like a cutting of the wings when it was more like a grooming, exercising and growing process. I am thankful for this nest this journey and that I felt like I belonged.
 
A bird always returns to its nest. See you soon  Jbay.
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My worth?

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As I stood knee deep in the Picific Ocean of Thailand I asked the Father for a new revelation of the cross. God answered in an unexpected way by speaking words of identity and encouragement over me, leading me to write the following:

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Daily Dependence

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Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done. 

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The Mystery

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Jesus is the mystery.

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UNITED IN CHRIST

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So yeah, I’m back with yet another blog and I’m personally very excited for this blog. It was something I never really thought of and when I really sat down and talked to God about this, it was like a HUGE revelation (I know there is a lot of them). I pray that Jesus will once again talk to you more and more throughout this blog and that this will also be a revelation to all of you reading this blog.So the topic for this blog is UNITED IN CHRIST and I know, we all heard that term a lot, but let us look past the overused term and let us go deeper into what that term really means.

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Beautiful Israel

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First, we went to Bethlehem.

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Sounds the call to come together...

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Thought on fasting

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I can't believe it went by so fast. Last weekend we were at the Bloemfontein prayer meeting where over one MILLION people came together to pray for South Africa. What a amazing experience. You could feel the unity! But it doesn't stop there. We need to become a praying nation. We need to keep praying for our country. Fighting the battle on our knees.

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In awe of Him

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Angus heard God's heart and acted apon it, calling a nation to stand together. The 22nd of April was the prayer meeting in bloemfontein where 1.7 million people attended and I had the immense privilege to be one of them.

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Waiting on Him

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Nadine bloemWhen I look around me I see a crowd of people. A rainbow nation from everywhere seeking one perpose. To pray to God to save our nation.

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Meeting Daniel before a road trip

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Bloemfontein2

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For the Sake of Family

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Daily family life is always crazy and a little chaotic. A Global family life is not that different.

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Dancing In The Dark

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From the streets of China to the mountains of Nepal. This was where I was taught that 'different' and 'dark' may have been studied from the wrong angle.

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MUSICALITY

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Hello everyone. So here we go again, but this time I want to tell all of you something that touched my heart ( yeah yeah I know, I always say that!!). In this eighth blog of mine you are most likely going to learn things about me that you didn’t know ( it is not serious deep stuff don’t worry that's for a later blog. ) and there will be things you do know about me. Okay so here we go.

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One body, many parts

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"For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.”

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Sharing Jesus without saying Jesus

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My biggest challange this year but alo my biggest revelation was how to share Jesus when I am not allowed to say His name.

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Seeing the beauty in the brokenness

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Nepal a country that will see me again. As I walked out of the airport to the mini bus that is taking us to the church where we stayed, I had peace in my heart and knew it is a place that I would love to come back to one day.

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Shepherd of my soul

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My foundation was shaken. It already started in China and carried on in Nepal. How we live and react to things that happen to us depends on what we believe about Jesus (i.e. The foundation that was built). Once you allow Jesus to come in to your house and some belief that you have that is not of Him...that belief starts to waver. Do you allow Him to set the truth as the foundation (a truth that is more solid and constant) or do you carry on building on something that is ignorant of Who Jesus is and what He did on the cross for you (that is wavering and unstable)?

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Going back in time

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Going to Nepal I felt like I was taken back to the Bible time. When you read about golden idols that people made and worshipped you don't really comprehend the intensity of it untill you see it for youself.

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Chaotically crazy and colourful

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They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
(Acts 2:42-47)

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Global Challenge Expeditions Trust
Registration Number: 066-651-NPO
Street Address: 11 Tulip Street, Jeffreys Bay, 6330, South Africa
Postal Address: PO Box 1064, Jeffreys Bay, 6330

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